They say that all people are different, but one of the things that you notice when you start attending various parties, especially of the more traditional type with tons of young people drinking and being crazy in general, is that there are certain types of people that pop up at every single party and that can easily be fit into one of the categories. We would like to say a few things about these various categories here.
The first category is the drunkest chick at the party. There is always one of them around, although they sometimes work in groups. The chick(s) has/have drank waaaay to much and she or they are totally incapable of remaining coherent or unannoying. The drunkest chick at the party soon becomes the most annoying chick at the party where every song that comes on is about her and where she is grinding on guys’ legs only to scream rape if someone touches her back. She usually needs to be evacuated with as little effort and hassle as possible. A quick taxi home usually does the job. Don’t let her leave unattended if you want to be able to sleep later.
Then, there is the weird guy that no one really knows and which is making everyone who notices him quietly discomforted. He is usually a bit older than the rest of the crowd and a bit underdressed, no matter how underdressed everyone else is. He usually has some facial hair and his hair is greasy if he is not sporting a baldie. He speaks rarely and when he does, he makes everyone shudder inside. He can put down copious amounts of alcohol without being affected in any way. He may or may not have hard drugs on his person.
There is always the cute girl who knows that she is cute but pretends that she does not. There is one such babe everywhere in the world, which means that there is one at every party as well. Guys are beating each other over the heads trying to get to her and she flirts with everyone only to stay as untouched as a strip of bacon in Baghdad. She is a tease and she makes guys go crazy over nothing. Especially when you consider that there is always an easy chick at the party.
There are also two different silent guys at the party. The cool one and the one that only thinks he is cool because he is silent. The one that thinks he is cool will try and put up a cool front every chance he gets. The really cool guy will not mind being the only one wearing slippers at the party and he will generally be a very nice guy if you actually strike up a conversation with him. Consider it like this – cool silent guy – Steve Buscemi; silent guy who thinks he is cool –John Cusack.